Personal Space: why you need it and how to create it.

          Over the last few months, one of my projects has been to clear out an old garage next to my apartment.  I worked on it a little at a time, between studying for my medical boards and tending to the other duties of living.  Initially, I had no concrete vision for the space; it was merely a place for the overflow from my life to be stowed away.  As the project progressed however, I became increasingly enamored with my “man cave” as I had come to call it.  I began envisioning all of the things that I could do with the space.  I could set up my guitars inside, and create a studio space.  I could put some weight lifting gear inside, and get fit.   I could organize all of the various tools around the farm and set up a nice little shop in which to work on my motorcycle, four-wheeler, and truck.  As my dreams became increasingly grandiose, I began to wonder what it was about this space in particular that brought me so much enjoyment.  After all, I live alone in my apartment.  Its not as if I need to retreat to the garage to have some “me” time.  In order to get an idea of what my inner process was, I compared my feelings when in the living room as opposed to what I felt when standing in my newly created garage. The difference, it turned out, was the purpose of the space. I love my living room, its comfortable, tidy, and I feel that it is an accurate reflection of who I am as a person.  It is however, the place where I actually live.  And living for me has meant a lot of studying of late, as well as paying the bills and such.  My garage however, is a different story.  When I go to the garage, I know that it is in order to enjoy myself.  The sole purpose of the space is to provide storage for all of my outdoor toys, and to provide a place to engage in all of the projects that I delight to be absorbed in.  I have in recent weeks finished the renovation of the garage, and I heartily recommend it to anyone.  It is truly a refreshment to the spirit.  If you have a family, and especially if you have children, I think that it’s of even more importance that you have a space of sanctuary.  It need not be a garage or separate building; it can be any room in your house.  If you don’t have any one room free, you can use just part of a room.  If you choose to use only part of an room however, I recommend that you partition it off with dividers or hanging tapestries.  The reason for this is that there is something psychologically significant in the physical separation of this room from the rest of your house.  Once you have isolated your space, its time to arrange it.  Be sure to do so in a way that is pleasing to your eye, and is equipped for the projects that you most enjoy.  Keep it simple, with comfortable furniture and good lighting.  Now you’re set up!  The last instruction is the most crucial one: ONLY do things that you love doing in this room.  Don’t pay bills in your sanctuary, don’t talk on the phone to people that stress you out, don’t answer business email, don’t sit and worry, don’t study (unless it is leisure learning).  You want this room to be connected in your mind with only good things. If you allow the drudgery end of life to inch its way in, you have ruined the efficacy of your place of enjoyment.  If, however, you maintain this room only for the good things in life, you will find it to be a wonderful retreat from the stress of daily living. Having such a place will not only increase your quality of life. It will also enable you to return to life refreshed and invigorated.